Low Self-Esteem: Causes and Solutions

While young children often have relatively strong self-esteem, as they enter their tween years, poor self-esteem may become more prevalent. There are several connected factors for the onset of poor self-esteem during pre-adolescence.

Comparisons With Others

Kids start actively comparing themselves to their peers between the ages of 6 and eleven.

This novel social comparison is motivated by both social and cognitive factors.

Erik Erikson, a psychologist, believes that self-comparison sets us up for the biggest struggle that children of this age encounter. Their primary issue, he argued, was around cultivating an industrial sense, or a sense of accomplishment, while eliminating a feeling of inferiority.

Sense of Inadequacy

As Erikson discovered, some children become aware that their efforts fall short of those of their classmates and develop feelings of inferiority. Importantly, though, being incompetent does not always result in low self-esteem. If a child’s bad performance happens in an area he despises, like sports, his self-esteem is not going to be harmed. If, on the other hand, he is inept in an area he values, like academics, he risks acquiring low self-esteem.

Increasing the Bar for Performance

The pre-adolescent years also bring a rise in performance stress.

Parents and instructors often praise any effort, smaller or larger, lousy or excellent, throughout the early and middle childhood years. However, as adolescence comes, adults begin to demand more from children; effort is important, but performance becomes much more so. As a consequence, teenagers not only compare themselves to their friends but also observe adults making similar comparisons.

Presumed Criticism From Others

Teenagers begin to perceive their parents’ and teachers’ displeasure when their performance standards rise. The extent to which the child’s self-esteem is impacted is determined by which adult(s) disapproves of their efforts. If the youngster dislikes the source of the disapproval—say, an unappreciated teacher—the kid is hesitant to take the judgment seriously, and self-esteem will stay high. If the child, on the other hand, perceives that a cherished parent or respected coach is dissatisfied with them, low self-esteem may occur.  Thus, it is apparent that parents may play a critical role in assisting children in developing good self-esteem.

Bullying

Sadly, teachers and parents may not be the only people who can potentially damage a child’s sense of self-worth. Bullying by other children, whether at school or on the playground, can have a significant impact on how a kid feels concerning themselves.

While parental acceptance, love, and support are the primary elements of a child’s good self-esteem in early life, peer approval becomes increasingly crucial as we grow older. Fear of not ‘fitting in’, of being bullied because of one’s color, ethnicity, religion, gender, or social behavior is a significant early source of low self-esteem. Lacking confidence is a natural outcome of bullying.

Trauma in childhood

In its most serious forms, childhood trauma like physical and sexual abuse, natural disasters, severe sickness, or bereavement can contribute to low self-esteem. All of these encounters convey to the youngster the idea that the world is not safe. Nothing can be relied upon. Victims of childhood abuse frequently also face accusations of being responsible for the atrocities perpetrated against them.

Indeed, the causes of poor self-esteem are frequently childhood-related. This is why counseling and psychotherapy are so effective at treating depression. By repairing the deep initial wounds to our self-image and worldview, you can begin to mend the small kid within you who yearns to believe in himself or herself and be at ease.

Self-esteem develops in childhood development and is tied directly to growing up and interactions with primary caregivers. Absentee parents, negative parents, abusive parents, conflicting authority figures, unsupportive parents, and disapproving authority figures all contribute to the development of poor self-esteem in childhood, which continues throughout adolescence and adulthood.

Uninvolved/Negligent Parents

Parents who spend little time at home raising their kids, as well as parents and guardians regarding mental health problems, substance abuse problems, or other difficulties, may be unable to provide their kids with the attention, guidance, and care they require and deserve. This can result in serious self-esteem and abandonment issues for children and adolescents.

Negative Peers

Being a member of a social circle that drags others down through contempt, peer influence, and bullying can make others feel as though there is something inappropriate with them and they are to blame. These bad practices can become harmful over time, eroding an individual’s self-esteem.

Trauma

Abuse, whether emotional, physical, sexual or a mix of these, frequently results in emotions of shame and guilt. A youngster may believe that he or she did something to deserve the abuse or was unworthy of the abuser’s respect, affection, and care. Teenagers who have experienced abuse may also have substantial anxiety and sadness, which can impair their capacity to live a satisfying life.

Body Image

A teenager’s self-esteem, particularly that of young women, is heavily influenced by their body image.

As per studies, 53 percent of females are dissatisfied with their bodies by the age of 13, and 50 percent of teen girls and 30 percent of teen boys engage in unhealthy behavior to reduce weight, such as skipping meals, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, using laxatives and fasting. Female bodies are continuously objectified in the media, giving the impression that they exist to be looked at, touched, and used. For many kids, puberty can be exciting and frightening, causing them to compare themselves to what they see from the media, resulting in feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and disempowerment.

While body image advertisements disproportionately impact young females, young guys are not exempt. Numerous young men suffer from low self-esteem as a result of their weight and physical composition, particularly their muscular mass.