Boarding School Syndrome

Boarding school survivors, commonly known as Boarding School Syndrome, have a wide range of symptoms. Parenting and relationship issues, workaholism, difficulty in taking time out for relaxation, isolation, being perceived as a bully, drug dependence or substance misuse, a fear of inadequacy, as well as physical, sexual and sleep issues are among them.

These and other issues could be the result of a complex combination of neglect and social advantage, of being deported from stable family life to an institution where bullying and abuse are common. This type of schooling is unfit for everyday living and provides a poor foundation for relationships.

Without first recognizing the signs and causes of the problem, the impacts of what youngsters learn amid hot-house pressure cannot be undone. This is the first and most important step. This can be aided by reading our literature.

The next phase, attempting to recuperate and go from “survival” to “living,” is not simple and is rarely accomplished without assistance. It’s because ex-boarders have developed a Strategic Survival Personality and will want assistance in feeling comfortable enough to let their guard down before re-learning how to live normally outside of current institutions, like the workplace.

Where there is a will, however, there is a way. Recovery is feasible and has numerous benefits if awareness of the misery and its causes is established.

Do you recognize any of the symptoms listed below that many ex-boarders or those with boarding school syndrome exhibit:

• Do you have difficulties with emotional closeness? Are you concerned about it?
• You can’t stop thinking about something? Do you have trouble finding things to do during vacations or downtime?
• Are you a control freak or a stickler for details? You may not be aware of this trait, but your partner or children will frequently mention that they feel helpless, right?
• Do you perform well in your career or finances but struggle emotionally?
• Do you feel like a loser, or are you terrified of being perceived as one?
• Do you find it difficult to unwind?
• Do you ever feel disconnected from your own needs? You enjoy giving to others but don’t devote any time to yourself.
• Do you get the feeling that you aren’t truly happy or joyous, that you have lost how to play or ‘let your hair down and enjoy yourself?
• Do you ever feel alone, even when surrounded by others?
• Do you find yourself avoiding your partner in your intimate relationship?
• Do you have the worry of becoming unlovable?
• Are you a workaholic who prefers to work hard rather than spend time with your partner?
• Do others treat you as if you were a bully?
• Have you ever battled an addiction?
• Do you have a habit of not sticking to relationships, and potential partners describe you as “hot or cold”?
• Do you avoid conflict in your relationship when things aren’t going well? Do you like to be clandestine or covert in the event that a confrontation arises?
• Do you find yourself always caring for others while struggling to care for yourself?
• Do you feel that you can offer monetary support for your family but not emotional support?
• Do you find it difficult to raise children?
• Do you find yourself trying to stay out of trouble because you’re afraid of being caught?
• Do you fear being exposed as a con artist or impostor?
• If you’ve ever had or do you still have sleep or sexual issues?
• Do you find it easy to become stressed?

Have you answered yes to any of these questions? Have you answered yes to most of these questions? First and foremost, please understand that you are not alone. Many boarding school survivors face difficulties in the areas listed above. Secondly, there are effective conventional and non-conventional therapies available that can help you overcome boarding school syndrome.