Fawning Trauma

The fawn response includes moving quickly to try to please someone in order to keep peace and avoid conflicts. This is a common reaction to childhood trauma, especially when a parent or other prominent person in authority is the abuser. By becoming a pleaser, kids go into fawn-like behavior in an attempt to avoid physical, verbal, or sexual abuse. To put it another way, they try to appease the abuser ahead of time by agreeing, saying what they believe the parent wants to hear or neglecting their own personal thoughts and desires in order to prevent the abuse.

This fawn response develops into a pattern over time. This pattern of behavior is carried over into adult relationships, encompassing personal and professional encounters.

Because the fawn reaction develops early in life, it can be hard to notice when it occurs. Nevertheless, there are a few telltale signals that the fawn response is in play:

• In a relationship or a particular situation, you rely on others for feedback on how you’re feeling.
• Even when you’re alone, it’s tough to pinpoint your emotions.
• You frequently feel as if you lack an identity.
• You’re always attempting to appease people you care about.
• When a fight arises, your initial instinct is to soothe the aggressor.
• You accept the views, thoughts, and facts of others around you instead of your own.
• When situations do not include people who are important in your life, you may have odd emotional reactions. This could involve outbursts of emotion directed at strangers or periods of abrupt grief throughout the day.
• You experience guilt and self-anger on a regular basis if not all of the time.
• It’s difficult to say no to all those around you.
• You’re overburdened at times, but if asked, you’ll take on more.
• You lack limits and are frequently exploited in relationships.
• When asked for advice, you feel uneasy or threatened.

The fawn response is frequently overlooked in PTSD because it is thought to be a natural aspect of the individual’s personality. It extends beyond being a non-competitive and collaborative temperament, though.

People with fawn responses can be targeted by narcissists or those who want to manipulate or dominate the people around them. The fawn response creates a hazardous circle in these circumstances, with the narcissist demanding more and more, and the person with PTSD experiencing increased feelings of rage, shame, guilt, and self-reproach for offering their all, including physical and emotional, to the partner.